Less is More...

What a beautiful Saturday it has been so far. The skies are gray, the grass is soaked with the never ending rain that is falling, and the fairy lights are twinkling throughout the house. This is the perfect day to me. Rainy and cozy. We need all the moisture we can get. The summers can be so dry, and with all the fires, the wetter the spring is, the better. Plants are starting to green, trees are beginning to bud and before we know it... summer will be here. Heat beating down on us. Lets just say I appreciate our air conditioning more than you know. 

I started adding these photos at the beginning of March. I've been neglectful, busy, not been able to find my words (again), what have you. Still not sure if I have my words even now. I'm in a funk. Have been for awhile. I'm going to blame it on my menopause. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. I do not feel in control of my moods/emotions. I've not been the best version of myself lately. I go to bed loathing myself some nights. But I get up, and try again the next day. But the thing that brings me just a little bit of comfort, is knowing that I'm not alone. I'm not the only mother/wife out there who  knows she can do and be better. I know who I am inside, and what my heart truly feels. I just need to get control over this phase of my life (out of whack hormones) and be the best mom and wife I know I can be. My husband and boys know I love them, but actions do speak louder than words right. I need to SHOW them that I do, deeply treasure them. Every day. 

Anyway.... lots of good stuff lately. Noah's birthday. My darling is 9 ! When did that happen ? He wanted to have a family party. No friends this time. It was simple, and sweet and he said it was the best party he has ever had. It was just as he wanted it. His favorite dinner (homemade fettuccine alfredo), chocolate cake, a few 'moose"(his favorite animal) themed treats and his family. As I cuddled in bed with him that night, he snuggled up and said "this was the best party ever mom".  He melts my heart. He is a simple kid. Josh and I strive to teach these boys of ours the importance of living a simple life. Finding pleasure in the little, every day things. Finding solace and beauty in nature. This boy gets it ! Oh I love him.

I was able to fly to Ohio for my Grandma's 90th "surprise" birthday party. Her reaction when she walked in that room is one I will never forget. She was genuinely surprised. It was the sweetest and most gracious thing I have seen in awhile. She gave the  most heart felt speech and I just cried as I held her hand to help steady her as she stood there expressing her gratitude. I had 3 sets of grandparents growing up. She is my mothers mother, and she is my only grandparent still living. My mother had me when she was 17 years old. So, needless to say, I have always had a very, very special bond with  my Grandma Laney. We don't always agree on things (don't get me started on who she voted for !!! ). And I have not always made choices that she supported ( not being active in church anymore), but we love each other unconditionally. No matter what, we are there for each other. I was so grateful that I was able to fly back and see her and spend a very quick, stressful, but wonderful weekend with her. The boys and I are flying back to Michigan this summer, so we'll be able to see her again, as mom and I will be driving to Ohio to spend time with her. The boys are excited to see GG Laney. Their Great Grandma. 

Spring break was spent in So. Utah. It was good to be back in that area. That is what we miss most about Utah. There is no other place like it, that is for sure. We had good and bad days. I was diagnosed with vertigo right before we left, so I was not feeling well most of the trip. Then Noah got sick. The boys were at each other the whole time, it was cold, windy, sandy... and very, very beautiful on the good days. With me being dizzy and not, you know, wanting to fall off a cliff, I stayed back on most of the long hikes. Liam choose to stay with me and read his dinosaur book and play game after game of Quixx with mom while we waited for dad and Noah to return. Those two, they are in heaven when they are out in nature. Hiking and camping is in their blood. The fact that Noah loves and appreciates it as much as Josh, makes (Josh) so happy, and literally ( and did ) bring him to tears. Noah is hard core, just like Josh. They both probably hiked at least 30 miles that trip, if not 40. We ended up coming home a couple days early because Noah was getting worse. We have so many pictures to look back on. Josh will be making another photo album for that trip alone. Our boys will have so many Costco photo albums to look back on and remember all the trips we took them on while growing up. That is so important to us...making good memories for our boys. 

Back to routine now. Noah's golf starts next week and swimming will start soon for both of them. Liam will be in the same golf program next fall. We have a busy summer planned. Doing and going. That will be us. I can't believe it's almost the 2nd week of April already. They will be out of school before we know it. But for now, as I listen to Josh watch golf ( The Masters- he has been sick for the last week and has completely lost his voice), and the boys play with their Lincoln logs, building pretend "camp grounds and hiking trails", I am off to submerge my  body into a piping hot bubble bath with my latest book. Rainy day, happy children, resting husband, twinkle lights, bubble bath, beloved book... what a prefect day.