Green Bluffs

Noah's beautiful art work

Liam has taken over Josh's side of the bed. He keeps his favorite movies there for snuggle time with Mommy

Hello October, my dear old friend. I thought I would go crazy waiting for you. Menopause has a way of working like that. The weather is changing and I couldn't be happier. Rain, wind, leaves turning golden and falling to the ground. It's as if they are doing a little dance on the way down. Swaying back and forth in mid air, until finally landing on the chilling ground. Just waiting to crisp up, and have someone rake them into a pile. Where, hopefully my boys will run and jump and land and squeal. That smell. Fall. You know it. We all know it.  I am in soup making mode. First was Sausage/lentil, then it was Kale/potato/sausage, and today I made chicken/corn/bacon/potato chowder. Josh got two chickens, put seasonings on them and stuffed them with onions, carrots, garlic, sage from our garden and lemons, and threw them in his smoker. 4 hours later... heaven on earth ! He then made me some chicken stock from all the bones and veggies.  He is so good to me. I could hardly wait to smell my soup simmering on the stove.  Steam rising up and filling my nose with it's velvet creaminess. And... it turned out so yummy and comforting. The smokiness of the chicken from being in the smoker brought out a taste that added so much flavor to the soup. Josh is so happy with his Father's Day gift. He has used that smoker to cook so many different types of meat. His ribs are out of this world. And I detest ribs. So that is saying a lot !

I grabbed a block of Brie cheese at Costco the other day, and oh my ! I have been eating well this last week. Chicken/Pear/Brie/Arugula panini's, smeared with Josh's homemade peach and cinnamon jam. You would die ! While the kids are at school, for lunch I have a piece of crusty bread, a swoosh of the jam, thin slices of brie, topped with a heaping handful of peppery arugula. Is it silly to say how much joy that brings me ?  I have literally stood there and smiled and moaned in the quiet of my kitchen. All alone at the counter. Taking slow, small bites. Feeling the creamy Brie cheese smoosh in my mouth.  I close my eyes, and I am at my imaginary cottage in France. Sitting outside at the big farm table. Calling Josh in from the vineyard. It's time for lunch my darling.... And then... the buzzer from the dryer goes off and I'm back. Back to my life here which I wouldn't trade for the world. 

I volunteered at the kids school for picture day last week on Tuesday . By Wednesday morning, I was sick. Terrible, scratching, swelling sore throat. So bad, I felt as if someone was squeezing the life out of me. I coughed, which hurt even more. All those sweet hugs from the kids who say "Hi Liam's Mom". And, " Oh you smell so good Noah's mom ",  cost me. But... it was worth it. I made sure their shirts and ties were straight and their hair and bows looked just right.  Those children have such potential to be amazing human beings. But, the sad truth is, many of them won't ever realize their potential.  It all starts at home. Everything that matters, starts at home. We must be there for our children in every way possible. Love them. Even if it's tough love. Be their champion.  Just like I mentioned in the last post about Liam, and his decision to cut his hair because he was tired of kids calling him a girl; we have been dealing with bullying in the 3rd grade as well. My Noah. My *normally* kind hearted boy. *The picture of the card above truly does describe Noah to his core. His heart cares deeply for those things that should matter * I can't tell you how many times I have heard the name Bentley come out of his mouth. And not just this year. It started last year when he was in the 2nd grade. But this year, it has really started to effect him. I would pick the kids up from school and Noah would barely say 2 words. He would hang his head low, and look so miserable. He would come home and go straight to his room to read, saying he had a horrible day. Saying " I just need some alone time mom."  Asking me " why is Bentley such a mean kid ? Why does he pick on me and other kids ? I don't understand it because I am a good friend to everyone."  Asking me why no one has done anything about Bentley, and  that he is sent to the office every day at recess. And Noah, acting out himself. Taking his frustration out on us, his parents, and his sweeter than life baby brother. Being a bully himself at home. This is unacceptable. And when we point out to Noah that he is doing the very same thing that we are fighting to change at school, he sees how wrong he is. This kid. This Bentley, just made it onto Noah's mom's list. I had to reached out to Noah's amazing teacher Mrs. Jensen, who oddly enough, was not aware that anything was going on, and assured me that she was on it !  And on it she was. Bentley's parents are now involved, as well as the Principal, the school counselor, and the school officer from the CDA Police Dept. I found out that I was not the only mother who had made claims. There were others. So the problem with Bentley is serious. And helping him with his behavior has become a priority. I am so glad. For my son, and others who have been the subject of Bentley's aggression, but also for Bentley. As I was helping with school pictures the other day, I was talking to Mrs. Jensen and she pointed to a kid at his locker and said " Bentley, I want to introduce you to Mrs. Jurgensen. This is Noah's mom ". His poor little face went white. Looking down at the ground, he quietly said " oh... hi. ". I tenderly said " Hi Bentley, it's nice to meet you".  He now knows. He knows that we are all watching him. That we all care. First, I care for my son. I know he has a good, solid foundation at home and will get the support he needs. But, as I told Mrs. Jensen, I care about Bentley and how things are handled in his world. I deeply, and sincerely hope he gets the loving support from his parents that he needs. He is so young. If he is having stresses at home, adult stresses, then I hope his parents see that and make changes. For them, and for Bentley. There are some children in this world who are just mean. Mean kids who grow up to be mean adults. But there are mean kids who are being abused, or have such turmoil at home, seeing their parents fight, or who don't show their children the love and gentleness and respect that they deserve. And so they take those negative emotions out on other kids at school. They have to express their anger and sadness some how right ? So, if this is the case, I honestly hope Bentley gets the support that he needs, and deserves. Just because he is a bully, doesn't mean he is a bad kid. He is projecting. I hope that's all he's doing, and he's not innately a mean child. Children have stress too, and we need to respect their feelings. 

We picked apples this weekend at one of our favorite orchards. We have many. Josh woke up and started to get the kids ready to go. I was still feeling so horrible that I said I was going to stay home. But as they were walking to the truck, I yelled out from the front stoop...  " Wait !! Give me 10 minutes. " . I was sick, but I didn't want to miss those precious moments of my children having fun, running around, taste testing each and every different apple we picked, pulling each other in the wagon... making memories. So I threw my hat and jeans on, grabbed my coffee and ran into the truck. I am so glad I didn't' miss this adventure with my 3 boys. We had a great day. Then, I paid for it when I got home with my sore throat. Oh well... so worth it. 

Is anyone else cracking up watching all the new episodes of Will and Grace ? Oh my gosh !! Josh and I have been laughing so hard as we watch. Although, lets be honest.. it should be called  Jack and Karen  , not Will and Grace. Jack and Karen make the show !!  Karen is so funny, her high pitched voice doesn't even get on my nerves. And Jack... LOVE him and his one liners.  Audrey, are you loving This Is Us so far ? I am.  

Anyway... lots of good stuff coming up. But until then... tootles