I'm In Hell...



I guess I should site naievity on our part, but when we moved in to our cute little neighborhood, we did not know what we were getting ourselves into. Let me start by saying, We love our house. It's so cute and cozy and it is our first home as a married couple. We are making it ours by little changes here and there. And when we first bought it, it pretty much was the only house that was nice in our price range. Heber believe it or not is getting extremely expensive. So, being in a hurry to get into a house before we both started our job in this new town, we did not do what everyone must do before moving into a house. I admit, when we moved in and we saw the house across the street from us, we did think " Oh my, hopefully they bulldoze that piece of crap down soon and build something nice in it's place. It is seriously hideous. All I can say for it's contents is white trash. Sorry, but it's true. Our neighbors in this one particular house I'm sure have been guests on the Jerry Springer show many times. I am appalled at the way they speak to each other. Not even speak, YELL. They only have one level. LOUD. I, just like many of the other neighbors have called the cops on them several times for disturbance of the peace. I don't even go out and try to talk to them civilly anymore. I just pick up the phone and call the cops. If you can just picture all those families with no shoes and dirty hair and clothes, these are our neighbors. Every other house on the street is cute, old because we are in the old cottage district, but taken care of at least. Not like this one. It is the eye sore of the street. So, with all that, we have the added bonus of them having old crappy, beat up derby cars in their drive way. Since school is out, the oldest boy has been working on this new derby car they got by reving the engine NON STOP all day long. I was home from work the other day and I had the privilege of listening to this stupid loud car being turned on and off and having it's engine reved. I thought I was going to lose my mind !! I couldn't call the cops because it was the middle of the day. I GUESS he has the right to work on his car, but isn't' there some noise ordinance when in the city ? By the time Josh got home I was just laughing hysterically. I don't know how much more I can take.




Then.... to the right of our house is a cute little 1950's brick house. They don't give us any problems... except that she turned out to be Josh's boss at work. Oh... and she has barn cats that have been pooping and peeing in our garden, yard, flower garden, shed... etc... for almost 2 years now. We have not said a word to her for obvious reasons (boss and not wanting to cause tension), but when we saw that there were 4 new baby kittens in our yard and they had been pooping in the area we just planted our trees for Gracie and Oliver, I said that was IT !! After Josh told me he had just filled a whole grocery bag with cat poop, I lost it. I marched right over to her house and had a word with her. Here's how the conversation went. Keep in mind I was VERY calm and nice, Not once did I raise my voice.

Deb knocks on the door.
Jay (The husband): Hello
Deb: Hey, do you have a minute to talk
Jay: Uh yeah... and you are ? ((Hello, he has been in our house)
Deb: Ummm Your neighbor
Jay" Oh, okay, what do you want to talk about
Deb: Well we are having problems with your cats peeing and pooping in our yard and it's been going on for about 2 years, we've just kept quiet about it but it's getting out of control.
Jay: well I don't know what to tell you. Let me go get my wife and she can deal with you.
Deb: (mouth wide open, thinking "note to self... go to store and buy this guy a pair of balls")
Julie: So you wanted to talk to me ?
Deb: Yes, did Jay tell you about the cats ?
Julie: Well I don't know what to tell you. They're not all my cats. I've seen some from across the street coming over too.
Deb: Right, but we've seen several of them coming from you back yard where the barn is and as far as I know, cats are supposed to be confined when in the city Julie. They are peeing and pooping in our vegetable garden and flowers and it's getting out of control. I'm not trying to cause problems, but it has been happening for almost two years and something has to be done.
Julie: I hope you don't call the animal control because they don't handle things humanely.
Deb; Are you doing to do anything about it Julie ?
Julie; Well what can I really do about it. You can't keep them confined really.
Deb; Yes you can ! You CONFINE them. You are not in the country with a farm, you are living in the city with other neighbors.
Julie; Well I have a trap you can borrow, but if you catch any cats, make sure you show me so I can see if it's one of mine.
Deb; There are four new baby kittens now Julie. Josh is over there filling a grocery bag with their poop.
Julie; Well, I know I'm adding to the problem because I do feed them, but what can you really do to control them.
Deb: (wanting to smack her)So you're saying it's all my problem.
Julie: well I don't know what to tell you.
Deb; Just walks away with hands in the air.

I don't care if she is Josh's boss. That is work. This is private life. That night Josh put up some boards in the back and has kept the dirt in all the garden and flower areas wet. The cats like it when it's soft and dusty dirt. And we haven't seen any poop for a couple of days. But do you see the kind of people I am dealing with ? It's enough to drive someone insane. I'm just going to call animal control again ( which I called before I went over to talk to her to see what my rights were) so if I start to see the cats in our yard again, I'll call them. They will tell her there is a complaint against her and then she'll have to deal with it. I'm done dealing with such ignorant people. Josh did tell me that he saw her putting up chicken wire at the bottom of the fences on her side. Which is great... until the cats decide to JUMP the fence like they always do. So we'll see how long that lasts. She was on the defence when she walked out of here house. I know she has heard us out in the yard talking about the cats and me saying " I'm so sick of these stupid cats". I HATE cats, especially gross barn cats that are only around to kill the mice and that are filthy dirty and evil looking.

So... lesson for everyone when you go to buy your next house:

1.Stand in front yard and do a complete 360 turn. Make sure you eye EVERYTHING
2. Have personal interviews with all your neighbors to make sure they don't: A:work for the same company, B: are not inbred white trash people, C: own loud obnoxious cars sitting on their FRONT LAWN and D: take care of their property. I have no idea how we are going to sell our cute house with the neighbors that we have. Josh and I have to laugh at night, or we will go crazy. Last night he said " what did we do to deserve this ? "... And I told him... " we live in Hell"... I'm joking here, for one, I know hell is nothing like my neighborhood, my neighborhood is much worse :) but if you couldn't tell... we are a bit frustrated with the neighbors... Luckily our house is a HOME inside and we are safe and happy when CONFINED there :)



Comments

Anonymous said…
I'm sorry Deb. I hate cats too. Not to mention I'm allergic to them. My eyes swell up, I can't stop sneezing. It's a beautiful look.
Laurie said…
OK - so you may not be laughing, but you are hillarious! I can just picture the conversation. I love the way you write.

I agree with you 100%. There's just nothing like the smell of cats doing there thing....not to mention on your gorgeous garden! I'll let you know if I hear of any good tips to keep them away.
Unknown said…
You need a GUN. BB, pellet, paintball, shotgun... take your pick! Debbie, your post is absolutely hilarious.

Mark
Kasey said…
Amen! I hate cats, too. Our neighbor has parked an 'antique' truck on the front lawn, right across from the house we're trying to sell. She thinks it's normal because it's got gravel poured down so it's a 'parking pad.' Nice. I feel your pain (but at least I don't hear your noise). Hang in there...and get some good ear plugs. ;)
Mark... Is that you? My old friend Mark Wagner ? Do you and Becca have a blog ? If so send me the link...
Laurie said…
I can't stand incorrect grammar, so I at least had to post that I do know the difference between "there" and "their". :-)
....just typed the wrong one.