One day at a time...

Okay... first of all, if you do not have a Febreze white peach candle... get on that gorgeous bike of yours right now Leslie Cunningham (you're the only one who reads my blog, I swear ! ) and fill that big basket with a couple of these candles ! It will change the way people walk around in your house.  They will almost float... inches above the ground. The very second they get that first wift, they will ask, "have I died ? Am I actually in heaven ? Oh yes ! You will love it .

So... One day at a time. This has been my motto for as long as I can remember. During hard times, and even during good times. I just (try to )take things one day at a time.  The children... especially Liam, tells me that time moves oh too slowly. That he can't wait to be a grown up. Oh my darling... that day will come sooner than you (and I ) think. I want my children to enjoy being children. I need to learn to let go and not worry about things getting dirty and loud and messy. So what if they have to take, yet another bath because they are sweaty and stinky and scratched and bruised. They are living !! I don't say a word to Noah anymore when he comes home with holes in his jeans. I used to get angry and say, " We need to take care of your clothes so they last ". Now... I look at those holes and say " WOW ! Look at that hole... you must have made an amazing catch or scored the winning goal ! ". I'm trying to let them be kids !! It's hard. At least for me. To let go of some of that control and let them BE kids !! I am learning. I tend to helicopter around. One eye on them. Ready to pounce if they make a wrong move or if someone tries to hurt them. But they will never grow and learn for themselves if I am always there. Well... I will always be there for them. But like the article I read the other day, I am raising  them so I can let go of them. Does that make sense ?  It does to me and it about kills me to think of it. The other night, we were all talking and I was telling the boys that one day, they will get married and have their own families (we talk about that a lot. Noah can't wait to be a dad. ) And Noah said, " But I can live here with you and dad with my family right ?". I'm guessing his future partner will NOT agree to that. But I do hope we all live close enough to see each other on a regular basis. I know how hard it is to be thousands of miles from my family. I do not want that with my children and their future families. But...little by little. I am raising my boys, so that I can let them go free in this (scary and beautiful) world. I want to raise them to make good choices. Smart choices. I know they will make mistakes. And that is okay. I want them to make mistakes so they can learn from them. 

Speaking of growing. We had a breakthrough with swimming. Noah is extremely afraid of putting his head under the water. He has been in the same swim class going on 6 times. His teacher, Miss Bailey is amazing. She has so much patience with him. I knew that one day it would just click. And told him... once you get over that fear, you will want to keep doing it over and over again. And last week.... he went under all by  himself !! I literally jumped for joy standing there by the edge of the pool watching him. Now... he is so excited to go to swim lessons. He is willing and brave to try new things. I am so very proud of him. Noah is my usually confident, routine obsessed, OCD, always thinking and talking, sweet, intelligent boy. It is amazing to see his confidence grow in his swim class. Always practicing in the tub with his goggles on. Saying " Mom... watch me go under again ! ". Yes, my darling... you are so brave. And I am so happy that you got over that fear. Liam on the other hand, is our little dare devil. He is not afraid of anything that brings him a cheap thrill :). Two boys raised by the same parents, in the same house, at the same time.... and yet so different. I love it. And I love them.