Saturday, April 21, 2012

Innocent Daydreaming or.....

I've been thinking about this subject a lot lately.  Some people might think I'm being silly, but there are days when I ponder this. I have always believed that true happiness is "not wanting to be anywhere, but right where you are". And I do honestly feel that I am happy. I adore my husband (most days :)), I worship my children (not every moment of every day, but absolutely every day :)), I love my little, cozy house, I'm living my dream of being a stay at home mother... so why... do I constantly daydream of being somewhere else, in a different time ? I always joke that I was born in the wrong era. I really think I should have been a young mother in the 1940's. I really think I should be living in Italy or France on a farm. I'd rather live in Europe then the US. (I am NOT anti American by any means) and...by the way: in all these dreams of mine... I am still married to Josh and still have my beautiful Noah and Liam. Those parts, the most treasured parts of my life, remain the same. So... is it all just innocent daydreaming, or would I rather be somewhere else ? I am obsessed w/ French music, and building a house one day that looks like an old English cottage. Am I just a romantic (yes), do I just have an old soul (yes), is it just my taste (most likely), or am I not "truly" happy w/ what I've got (I don't think so). Everyone has dreams, but I feel these are longings for me. I feel I (and my family) should be "there". Maybe I was there in another life (if you believe in that sort of thing), and my soul and heart just realizes this and remembers. Can the soul remember ?

I don't know why I'm writing this. My poor little blog does not get the kind of traffic that those "popular" blogs get. I know I will not get comments that support me or tell me I'm just a big time dreamer and to get over it and just go on vacation to one of these places. Maybe the reality could never live up to my dreams anyway. Maybe I'm just writing for myself. I'll write my dreams down in my journal for my children to read some day. Maybe we'll actually go to one of these places some day, and I'll convince my husband to buy a run down villa to fix up, and let us stay there :) Maybe I should just get up and do the laundry and make my kids lunch.

Either way.... these are my feelings.

4 comments:

Jen S. said...

Have you seen Midnight in Paris? If not, you should...
I'm glad you love all the men in your life:) They are definitely lucky to have you!

Lindsey Marie said...

I should have been a cowboy. On a farm, living off the land. I love the show The Parent Hood - love that they eat outside at a rustic table. Family all around! Deb- Go for it!!!!! There is something to say about putting it out there in the universe. I believe your dream will come true one day!!!!!!

Kristin said...

You have a blessed life. I think we should always day dream and I do think you and the family should take a trip to Paris and spend some time there. You might all really love it there and make it a family tradition to go.

Design Adventures said...

My husband has always wanted to go back to Taiwan to live. He'd like to go permanently, but we both know that our families would never let that happen. I am to the point that I am happy to just be wherever he and the kids are, and I'd be more than happy to help him live out his dream. Life and responsibilities get in the way. And, the fear of the unknown. We often wonder how in the world we could just pack up and move to the other side of the world. I say, at the very least, save up for a GRAND vacation. Save up enough to stay as long as you possibly can and be able to do everything you want to do while you're there. If you end up spending all of your money and not being able to come home, then so be it. ;) Life isn't meant to be lived in dreams.