Catching Up...
A lot has changed since our last family photo. For starters, we have a new member. We welcomed Liam Gifford Jurgensen on Aug. 21, 2011. He is such a sweet baby and is absolutely the completion to our family. After having Noah, I wasn't sure I would have anymore. My pregnancies are very hard and I was getting up there in age. I was 36 when I had Noah. I know, still plenty of time to have another, but after losing Gracie and Oliver it was hard to think about trying for another one w/ all of my complications. Even though I desperately wanted one. So we decide to not "try", and if it happened, it was meant to be. But I just knew there was one more meant to come down to our family). So, you could say we were very surprised to find out I was pregnant w/ Liam after Christmas. Surprised....and extremely happy. We are over the moon in love w/ this precious little baby. I can't believe 2 months have just flown by. When you wait your whole life to have a family, the time just passes too quickly. I am aware of this and I am treasuring every moment. Even the days I want to pull my own hair out :) . I am one of those mothers who constantly has a camera in my kids faces. I think one day they will thank me for it. They will have photo album after album to look back on the memories we made as a family. This is just one of the gifts I will give them. I can honestly say I am happier than I have ever been. I have a wonderful, giving husband, who happens to be pretty darn good lookin' to boot, and I am the mother to two of the sweetest, most unique, beautiful little boys I could ever dream of having. I am so blessed to be able to stay home to mother and raise them. I pray I am doing a good job and don't screw them up too badly. :) It's not always easy, but it is the most rewarding thing I have ever been privliged to do. My Father in Heaven TRUSTED me enough to send me these children. That amazes and humbles me !!
My cousin Lindsey said it beautifully when speaking of her children. She has four children. 3 here w/ her, and one w/ wings. We too have four children. Two here w/ us and sadly two with wings. Gracie and Oliver will never be forgotten and they will forever be a part of our family. I know they sent me Noah and Liam and told them to be good little boys because Mommy and Daddy had been through a lot. And they are. They are such special little boys.
After having Liam, I started feeling a little crappy. I knew something wasn't right. I went to the Dr. and we found out I had "Post" eclampsia. This has been fatal for some women. So they watched me very closely. Luckily I was soon on the mend. However, not long after that, I began to hemorhage quite badly one day. I ended up in the hospital, passing out and losing 2 1/2 liters of blood. It was a very scary time for Josh and myself. It was very serious and could have been much worse had we not gotten help. For some reason, my uterus didn't contract after delivering Liam. Come to find out it was full of blood clots. I honestly could have bled to death had I not gone to the Dr. They gave me medicine to help the uterus contract and it did just what it was supposed to do. I was in the hospital for a day without having to have a blood transfusion, and was able to go home to my family. I don't know why I , or so many other women have such problems w/ pregnancies. But it certainly makes us stronger women and mothers and eternally grateful for our children once they are here. Also, during my pregnancy w/ Liam I suffered w/ depression. Josh thought it was just the normal "pregnancy mood swings" but I knew it was much more than that. I was really scared thinkging about the "what ifs" after the baby came. If I was having such a hard time before he came, what would it be like after? Luckily I only had a few days where I was insecure and a little down about my mothering abilities and then I just snapped out of it and felt like my old self again. I knew I had 2 boys to raise and they needed me. My husband also needed his wife back to her normal self. I am SO thankful I didn't suffer w/ post partum depression on a serious level. So, with everything that happens during my pregnancies, and everything that happened physically after I had Liam, it is safe to say that he will be my last baby. I know this and I honestly don't feel that we have anymore out there, but even knowing all that, I think it's bittersweet for women when they do have their last baby. There is just something about the realization of " I wont' have another baby " that hits kind of hard. But, I feel I am done. And I am so excited to get on w/ life and enjoy my family and build a lifetime of memories. I want to give my boys a wonderful life. I want them to be healthy and happy, and grow up and be good men. I want to be a better wife to my husband. Every morning I wake up and say "today I am going to be better". And some days... I even am. :)
I am not perfect, but the Lord knows my heart and He has blessed me despite my shortcomings. I will never forget this...
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