Always A Mothers' Baby...

It’s hard for me to put into words how in love I am w/ my son. Maybe it’s because, all I ever wanted growing up, was to be a mother. And after losing Gracie and Oliver, we finally have our Noah here. And I think it makes me love and appreciate him more. I treasure this boy. I cherish him. I honestly thank my Father in Heaven daily for sending him to me. But as happy as I am most days, some days I get really sad. He’s growing too fast. He’s not a baby anymore. He’s a little boy. Time is passing. Right now, he throws his arms around my neck and squeezes so tight. One day, he’ll be too cool to do that. (to which, I will make him hug me anyway  ). Day after day, Josh and I watch in amazement as this little person evolves. His personality is growing. He has the cutest and funniest mannerisms. He is his own person. He’s independent, and smart, and mischievous, and imaginative. And as much as I want him to grow up and be a good man. A good husband and father… I want him to stay w/ me. In our little house. In our little bubble. It is very likely that Josh and I will not have another child. It’s really hard for me to talk about that. Hard to admit. I’m not getting any younger. My pregnancies are hard. Hard on me, and hard on my husband. Could we do it anyway? Absolutely! And if it happens, it happens. And we will be grateful. But w/ the thought of Noah being our only child here on this earth w/ us, I panic sometimes. Time flies. Isn’t that the saying? Well, I don’t want it to fly. I’d like to just putter along at a slow pace. I know each phase will be fun. And the older Noah gets, the more memories we will make. But…..

If you are a mother, you know exactly how I’m feeling. He’s not a baby anymore… but he will always be my baby !!